Come to Me You Who Are Weary....

When I first started teaching here in Japan, I thought that my students were perfect. After-all, they were polite, they would bow to me, the baseball boys would greet me with a swoop of their hats, they would carry my books, they would escort me to classes... I never heard a foul word, I never saw a weapon, I never saw a fight!

That was two years ago. In two years, one can learn a lot of things like the actual state of my kids' lives. Recently, I have come to realize that my dear girls and boys are just that -- girls and boys so desperate to be loved, but oh so very lost! The state of my children breaks my heart. Yes, my children may seem more disciplined than many students back home, but it doesn't mean that they don't have issues. In fact, my school happens to be one of the rougher schools in the area.

Oh, how my heart breaks when I hear of yet another student dropping out or how the school had to hire weekend help to replace yet another broken window or wash away yet another bit of graffiti. Oh, how my heart sobs when my school nurse escorts a fourteen-year-old girl to the abortion clinic. Oh, how I want to hug the fifteen-year-old whose parent committed suicide. Oh, how I want to love the unloved -- the boy who smokes, the one who comes daily with dirty clothes, the one with dirt-caked fingernails, the one who smells, the one who tried to give himself a tattoo with drastic results.

When I first started teaching, I had visions of creating a bilingual school. However, I have come to realize that my kids don't want to speak English. They don't see the point. They don't see the need. After-all, their expectations and dreams hardly go beyond the onion and potato fields they work in. What these children really need is Love.

Oh how I want to love my children. Oh, how I want to take care of them. But, oh, how inferior I feel! As the foreigner, I can't say much -- I don't understand much. When I have a smile on my face, I feel so fake. My happy-go-lucky attitude just doesn't seem right when I know that my students are grieving -- although half of the time I really don't know why. Sometimes, it is honestly easier to get caught up in the stress of the other teachers.

My dear teachers -- I grieve for them, too! Their lives completely revolve around school. They are responsible for these kids because Japanese parents think that it is the school's responsibility to raise them. If something goes wrong, it is the school that is first contacted. It is the school that has to get the students from the police. It is the school that has to apologize to the community. And these poor teachers hardly know how to deal with the stress. Usually their coping method involves heavy doses of alcohol and tobacco (and an optional insurance-covered brain MRI to make sure that they don't have an aneurysm).

This is the life I face everyday. What should I do? What can I do? I desperately desire to be a light to this dark nation. I want the love of God to radiate through me. I want to love the unloved. But, I am so tired and weary. I interact with an average of 1500 students and 60 or more teachers a week. Sometimes it is just too easy to be caught up in my own life -- in my own attempts to survive in this foreign land. I find myself imitating the non-smiling "wooden faces" of the Japanese and turning a blinded "its not my problem" eye.

But, is that how Christ loved? Is that what He did when He was on this earth? Some people think that I care to much for this nation that is not my own. Some people think that I love my students too much for not really being a teacher. I question if they are right. What really can I do? What can one illiterate foreigner do?

Why am I here? Why did God call me to such a challenging place? Oh, it would be so much easier to run home to the loving arms of my family. To the smiles of my nieces -- to the protective care of my parents. How I sometimes wish I could. People ask me why I don't. I ask myself that same question. The answer is short, but not easy -- its because I know that I am here for a reason. God has called me to this land. Why? I don't know. I don't know how I can impact, but I can only pray and trust that I can, as a broken vessel, do the service to which he has called me.

Today in church the pastor spoke on Matthew 11:28-30:

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."

What an encouragement! What a gentle breeze in desert! What a deluge of cold water for the parched soul! What words to bring tears and draw one to their knees.

Please pray for the lost country of Japan. They are so lost. So desperate. In the past month alone, over 2500 people have committed suicide. How they need God's saving grace. Please pray for me as well. I have been emotionally, mentally, and physically exhausted this weekend. Pray that I can know how to best help my students and teachers. Pray that I can be a witness and that I can truly live up to my Japanese name -- emiri: a reason to smile.

I will conclude with this -- a song sent to me many months ago by my dear friend Allison. It has been a blessing to me and my prayer

Radio Taiso

In honor of Sports Day, it only seems fitting to post the Japanese "Radio Taiso". "Radio Taiso" was first aired in Japan after WWII, and can still be watched early in the mornings on TV. It is designed to energize all body-types, and in fact, some companies actually use it as a morning team-building exercise. Its not uncommon to see the entire workforce doing it on the open-air roof veranda. My students sometimes do it, too -- a fact I learned two years ago at Sports Day. At that time, I found myself not only in front of all of my students' parents and grandparents, but also facing the entire school body doing these exercise. What initially was a very humiliating event (everyone knew what they were doing and I had absolutely no clue -- and hiding wasn't really an option) has turned into a great daily early-morning harp exercise for me. It's a wonderful stretch for harp arms and back!!!

おみやげ：Omiyage-- Japanese Souvenirs

In Japan, it is customary to bring back a small souvenir for friends and work colleagues (the latter to thank them for working hard while you were having fun!!!) The whole idea of gift-giving has become a national endeavor as every little town, area, and city has a special edible "omiyage" for which they are "famous." (For example, here in Hamamatsu it is eel pie!) Anyway, while Japanese people find it to be very obligatory -- and an expensive and sometimes annoying venture -- I personally find it to be great!!! The first day back from summer vacation is like Christmas with all kinds of fun cookies and candies piled on my desk. So what if most of them involve bean paste, its still fun to dig through the stash :-) This year, I maintained enough self-control to not eat any of the goodies before I was able to snap a picture. Can you guess which one I brought back from the States??

What's In a Name?

Pizza, as defined by the Britannica Concise Encyclopedia, is a "Food of Neapolitan origin. It consists of a flattened disk of bread dough, typically topped with olive oil, tomatoes, and mozzarella cheese, baked quickly and served hot.

Pizza, as defined by the local Japanese pizzeria:

A black bamboo crust, topped with mochi (pounded rice balls), mini hot dogs, corn, mayonnaise, salmon, broccoli, teriyaki chicken, and the occasional tomato slice!

Grandpa's 90th Birthday Party

A fitting table setting for our WWII hero

Custom M&Ms designed by Mommy and Auntie Hildi

Close-up of the M&Ms

Grandma and some of her delicious yummies!

The Grill Master!

More food!

Jessica and Roger modeling what our family does best -- eating!!!

The kids' table!!
(Average age: 29)

Generations 1 and 2

The cousins!

The Toelckes

The Poldermans

Four-generations!

(Back row: Charles Toelcke, Nathan Polderman, Emily Toelcke, Dieter Bardy, Ryan Grady, Roger Stephan, David Boothroyd. Middle Row: Lilla (Boothroyd) Toelcke, Elisabeth Polderman, Erin (Toelcke) Polderman, Hilda Boothroyd (Bardy), Jennifer (Boothroyd) Grady, Jessica (Boothroyd) Stephan, Mary (Cooper) Boothroyd, Front Row: Clara Polderman, Anna (Pszyk) Boothroyd, Owen Boothroyd, Phil Bardy-King, Heidi Bardy-King. Missing: Jennifer Monaster-Bardy)

Highlights from Houston and Florida

Love at first sight!

Nathan's Yummy Birthday Cake made by Erin with snazzy colored candles provided by Emily

Blowing out the candles

Elisabeth discovering bubbles

Elisabeth discovering fingers
Clara enjoying a lollipop
(notice Hello Kitty in the airplane beside her)

Sharing a ride on the mall's carousel

Blue Bell Ice Cream Factory!!!

After-the-tour treats

My favorite girls with my favorite food -- what could be better!!

Don't you love the grin?!
(Of course what you don't see is my face of shock since this photo was snapped right after a spit-up explosion all down my legs!)

The oldest and the youngest -- Elisabeth and Papa!

Bath tea party time!

Tea party with Nana!

温泉: The Japanese Bath

The last few times, I have flown home, I have always left from Tokyo's Narita Airport. One absolutely fabulous thing I have found there is a rental shower place. Completely spick-and-span, it offers 30 minute use of a private shower. There is nothing like feeling squeaky clean before the long flight home!! Unfortunately, this new-found desire obsession recently lead me to an interesting encounter.
So, when I left for the States this August, I booked my flight out of Nagoya instead of Tokyo. Whereas Tokyo is designed for international travelers of all countries, Nagoya appeals mostly to Japanese flying to other Asian countries. Their bath situation, for one, models the Japanese system...
Now, before I proceed with my story, I need to give you a little background information regarding Japanese baths. Designed with the community (and not individual) in mind they are an ancient Japanese tradition. Separated by gender, the baths include two important elements -- a washing station and the actual bath. One enters the bathhouse (yes, I know what you are asking and the answer is yes, completely naked), sits on a little stool, suds completely down (you want to show the other patrons that you are really, really clean and won't contaminate the water with your germs), and then rinses off. Once all bubbles (and skin cells) have been removed, it is now safe to enter the bath to soak and relax. Some baths are jacuzzi-styled, others have jets or electrical currents to relax the muscles. There are thermal baths, cold baths, seltzer baths... you get the point (I even saw a picture once for a wine bath)
Anyways, before I came to Japan, I figured I would never be brave enough to enter a Japanese bath. However, during our first week of training two years ago, our teachers tricked us into entering one. (It wasn't until after having us all run around getting sweaty in the unairconditioned gym doing team-building exercises that they told us that they only baths available were Japanese style). After that experience, I realized that Japanese baths were definitely not as bad as Turkish baths! (Yes, I have tried those too, and no, I am not going to describe the process online... If you are interested, I can give you my cousin's email and you can ask him, right Dieter?? :-) In fact, they are actually quite relaxing (the Japanese, not Turkish) and since then I have enjoyed the onsen several times (including with a teacher -- female of course -- from my school and my LOLs).
Back to Nagoya Airport.... Unlike, Tokyo's private showers, Nagoya only has an onsen. During my entire bus ride to the airport I debated if I had the guts to enter one alone -- every other time I had somebody else around. However, the 90 something degree weather and a two-hour flight delay finally ruled out and I decided that I would bravely bathe solo (Okay, now that sounds a bit odd!) Entering the bathhouse, I was faced with a problem in the form of a vending machine. For some bizarre reason, one had to buy tickets at the machine to bathe, only to give the tickets to an attendant. Unfortunately, the attendant wasn't particularly quick in picking up that when I said that I couldn't read Japanese, I really meant it... A ticket into the male bath later, I finally was ushered into the right place. This of course also meant putting on the designated "toilet slippers" when entering the toilet room (and forgetting to remove the aforementioned footwear, when leaving!) Proudly (and obliviously) stomping around in slippers marked "TOILET" on the toe was the least of my worries! I soon found myself in front of locker with only an itty-bitty towel (think washcloth) to cover my entire torso. I felt a bit like Adam and Eve as I headed to the bathing area. This feeling soon changed as soon as I opened the door. No longer was I the only human on the planet. I was now the "unclean" person. Within minutes, the entire bath cleared out. Not a soul stayed. I soon found myself, enjoying all of the amenities by myself. Had the water been deep enough, I could have even swam laps! It was the most relaxing experience watching airplanes fly by, while soaking in the tub. Soon, though I heard a noise. An unsuspecting patron opened the door. I slowly turned my soaked head around.... When she caught sight of my eye-shape her jaw dropped, and I was once again left alone to enjoy Japan's community bath!

花火: Fukuroi Fireworks

So, here in Japan, a favorite summer pastime is to wear yukata and watch fireworks (literally "flower fire"). Not to be outdone by the Japanese, it seemed like a perfect cultural experience! So, Sarah and I recruited several Japanese friends to help us out (after-all, dressing in a yukata is a bit challenging and if you put it on wrong, everyone will point out that you are dressed like a dead person!!) Fireworks occurred basically every Saturday in August, but we chose the Fukuroi City ones because they were supposed to be the biggest display in the area. Local companies sponsor the fireworks (or as Sarah aptly put it "their tax write-offs go up in smoke -- literally!), little food stands set up on the grounds, and it becomes a complete family-night out. We definitely weren't disappointed. For two hours straight, fireworks of all shapes and colors including strawberry fireworks, smiley faces, and pastel burst of color, banged in the dark. Unfortunately, I'm not so talented in taking firework photos, but here are a few of our fabulous evening...

Sarah getting wrapped, squashed, and tied up in her yukata.

Me modeling the latest fashion -- three-quarter sleeve and ankle length yukata
(Ah, the joys of being a tall foreigner in a tiny world!)

Enjoying food and fellowship while waiting for the sun to set

Lots and lots of people!

Satoko, Mami, and Sarah
(Satoko is currently a seeker at the English speaking church. Mami is a member)

The sun is going down!!

A pastel burst before it was too dark

Another random firework

We finished the evening by going into Hamamatsu City, where decorations were set up for another Festival. The bamboo and sparkly-paper adorned road was to pretty to pass up.

Being Part of the Group

Being part of the group is extremely important here in Japan. It isn't always what you can do for the group, but that your presence is there (case in point -- it is acceptable to sleep in a meeting, but looked down upon if you miss it because you are tired). Also, members of a group do things for the group and don't think about the individual (remember my Japanese speech story?? This is why I made a fool of myself!) Anyways, being accepted into a group (especially as a foreigner) can be a challenge. I knew this from the start, and decided that I would do everything that I could to become part of my school's group. I didn't want the other teachers to ever be jealous of me because I acted on my own accord but instead I have attempted to assimilate as much as possible (that's why I eat my crazy school lunch everyday without complaining, daily sweep the floors while dripping with sweat instead of sitting in the air-conditioned staff room, don't wear jewelry or bright colors to school (okay sometimes, I cave in and wear dark pink), attend meetings I don't understand...you get the point!) For me, to be part of the group is an important cultural lesson and witnessing opportunity. You see, Japanese are very wary of people not in their group, so I figure I can be a better tent-maker if I can get to know my fellow-teachers. Though sometimes, its challenging and I find myself doing things that I don't particularly enjoy (I don't particularly relish wearing a dark suit and not smiling for photo day ), I also realize that I, unlike the rest of the teachers, don't have to be part of the group for the rest of my life. (By the way, here is the newest staff photo. It is of the "free" teachers -- those not assigned to a specific grade. We have little bubbles coming from our mouths explaining our subject area, favorite Japanese word, favorite song, and what our dream was when we were a junior high school student)
Of course, being accepted into the group takes time, which I found out my first day at school almost two years ago. After giving one of my "crazy attempts at Japanese" speeches to introduce myself, I found myself sitting alone in the staffroom while all the other teachers had meetings. I really felt like an outsider...and though I had absolutely no idea what was going on, I wanted to join. (Looking back, I am sure they didn't invite me because they thought I would be bored -- which would probably be true! Plus, my school had had an incredible turn-over of ALTs, so I am sure they figured that I was going to be like every other one -- in, one day, and out the next!) Anyway, as time has progressed, my teachers have seen that I want to participate in their daily lives and have slowly started to integrate me into their group. For example, now my desk has my own name plate, just like everyone elses! I have my own locker, and shoe cubby instead of using the "guest" ones. I also have been added onto the "staff list" -- a checklist used for important events like invitations to lunch and teacher "game days." I also get my own mailbox for important papers, and it is here that my story really starts...

So, about two weeks ago, I found a really pretty hot pink and lime green cherry blossom paper in my mailbox. Usually, I don't understand about half of the papers in my box (but I have become really good at reading all the "wear suits tomorrow notices!), so I make it a daily practice to ask my school secretary (her desk is directly across from mine) what is important and what I can throw away. This paper, though, was especially intriguing. Not only was it printed on the color printer (a big novelty at school) but I could also decipher it was for women only. I thought that maybe it was an invitation to the a "women only (plus the principal) end of the year lunch." They have them occasionally, and I have been honored to be invited (even if the menu includes eel). Anyway, I was really excited about this paper so I asked my secretary about it. She looked at it very quizzically, told me it was important, and then said I should talk to my vice-principal about it. Well, I had class next, so I proudly displayed it on my desk to remind myself to ask about it. When I arrived back to my desk several hours later. It was gone!!!! I was so baffled. Where did it go? I started searching, wondering if it had blown off or if I had gone crazy and actually misplaced it. When I couldn't find it, I finally came to the conclusion that someone must have removed it from my desk. After-all, the secretary did seem surprised that I had it in the first place. I was genuinely disappointed. Maybe, I had been wrongly invited to a party...maybe I really wasn't part of the group! Weeks passed, and I completely forgot about my mysterious invitation....that was until Thursday, when my vice-principal came to talk to me with pretty hot-pink flowered paper in hand. I was so excited!! Maybe it had blown off my desk after-all and they really wanted me to join something special!

"This is really difficult for me," my vice-principal said. "Every month, women have something..."

As for being part of the group, I am in a new one -- "Educated Teachers in the Proper Disposal of Feminine Products!" And, I can only thank the members of my "group" who were looking out for their clueless foreigner and removed that "mysterious" paper from my desk!

Indiana Jones (Toelcke Style)

Just because I have a blog and Daddy doesn't (and these pictures are too fun not to share)...









... and for those of you wondering he is on a business trip in Dubai which I think is somewhere in India, right? :-)