Being Part of the Group

Being part of the group is extremely important here in Japan. It isn't always what you can do for the group, but that your presence is there (case in point -- it is acceptable to sleep in a meeting, but looked down upon if you miss it because you are tired). Also, members of a group do things for the group and don't think about the individual (remember my Japanese speech story?? This is why I made a fool of myself!) Anyways, being accepted into a group (especially as a foreigner) can be a challenge. I knew this from the start, and decided that I would do everything that I could to become part of my school's group. I didn't want the other teachers to ever be jealous of me because I acted on my own accord but instead I have attempted to assimilate as much as possible (that's why I eat my crazy school lunch everyday without complaining, daily sweep the floors while dripping with sweat instead of sitting in the air-conditioned staff room, don't wear jewelry or bright colors to school (okay sometimes, I cave in and wear dark pink), attend meetings I don't understand...you get the point!) For me, to be part of the group is an important cultural lesson and witnessing opportunity. You see, Japanese are very wary of people not in their group, so I figure I can be a better tent-maker if I can get to know my fellow-teachers. Though sometimes, its challenging and I find myself doing things that I don't particularly enjoy (I don't particularly relish wearing a dark suit and not smiling for photo day ), I also realize that I, unlike the rest of the teachers, don't have to be part of the group for the rest of my life. (By the way, here is the newest staff photo. It is of the "free" teachers -- those not assigned to a specific grade. We have little bubbles coming from our mouths explaining our subject area, favorite Japanese word, favorite song, and what our dream was when we were a junior high school student)
Of course, being accepted into the group takes time, which I found out my first day at school almost two years ago. After giving one of my "crazy attempts at Japanese" speeches to introduce myself, I found myself sitting alone in the staffroom while all the other teachers had meetings. I really felt like an outsider...and though I had absolutely no idea what was going on, I wanted to join. (Looking back, I am sure they didn't invite me because they thought I would be bored -- which would probably be true! Plus, my school had had an incredible turn-over of ALTs, so I am sure they figured that I was going to be like every other one -- in, one day, and out the next!) Anyway, as time has progressed, my teachers have seen that I want to participate in their daily lives and have slowly started to integrate me into their group. For example, now my desk has my own name plate, just like everyone elses! I have my own locker, and shoe cubby instead of using the "guest" ones. I also have been added onto the "staff list" -- a checklist used for important events like invitations to lunch and teacher "game days." I also get my own mailbox for important papers, and it is here that my story really starts...

So, about two weeks ago, I found a really pretty hot pink and lime green cherry blossom paper in my mailbox. Usually, I don't understand about half of the papers in my box (but I have become really good at reading all the "wear suits tomorrow notices!), so I make it a daily practice to ask my school secretary (her desk is directly across from mine) what is important and what I can throw away. This paper, though, was especially intriguing. Not only was it printed on the color printer (a big novelty at school) but I could also decipher it was for women only. I thought that maybe it was an invitation to the a "women only (plus the principal) end of the year lunch." They have them occasionally, and I have been honored to be invited (even if the menu includes eel). Anyway, I was really excited about this paper so I asked my secretary about it. She looked at it very quizzically, told me it was important, and then said I should talk to my vice-principal about it. Well, I had class next, so I proudly displayed it on my desk to remind myself to ask about it. When I arrived back to my desk several hours later. It was gone!!!! I was so baffled. Where did it go? I started searching, wondering if it had blown off or if I had gone crazy and actually misplaced it. When I couldn't find it, I finally came to the conclusion that someone must have removed it from my desk. After-all, the secretary did seem surprised that I had it in the first place. I was genuinely disappointed. Maybe, I had been wrongly invited to a party...maybe I really wasn't part of the group! Weeks passed, and I completely forgot about my mysterious invitation....that was until Thursday, when my vice-principal came to talk to me with pretty hot-pink flowered paper in hand. I was so excited!! Maybe it had blown off my desk after-all and they really wanted me to join something special!

"This is really difficult for me," my vice-principal said. "Every month, women have something..."

As for being part of the group, I am in a new one -- "Educated Teachers in the Proper Disposal of Feminine Products!" And, I can only thank the members of my "group" who were looking out for their clueless foreigner and removed that "mysterious" paper from my desk!