I would like to buy a WHAT?

So, for the past four weeks or so, my third-year middle school students have been working on learning how to order food from McDonalds in English (On a side note, did you know that there are 196 countries in the world, 134 that speak English, and 124 that have at least one McDonalds?? It kind of puts the usefulness of this exercise in perspective especially when you consider that there is only one country that speaks Japanese!!) Anyway, I came across this video clip today, and it reminded me of how things have been going in the classroom recently. Well, actually, maybe its not such an accurate representation -- there are considerably less "r"s used. Actually, let me rephrase that -- there are no "r"s used!! My kids say it more like "hambaaagaaa."

Oh, and my kids definitely not begging me to continue!!

In 1971....

....McDonald's Japanese President, Den Fujita, stated "the reason Japanese people are so short and have yellow skins is because they have eaten nothing but fish and rice for two thousand years; if we eat McDonald's hamburgers and potatoes for a thousand years we will become taller, our skin becomes white and our hair blonde".

...umm, really?

Speeches!!

Japanese people like their speeches. In fact, everything has a speech. "Before an activity" speech. "An after activity" speech. Introduction speeches. Goodbye speeches. " You can do it" speeches.... They go on and on... But, it seems like even more than giving speeches, the Japanese people like having foreigners give speeches -- in Japanese of course!!! (Okay, I might be exaggerating here, but it sure feels like it!). Case in point, I just came across these pictures yesterday. They were taken in September 2008 (one month after I arrived in Japan). My pre-warning was about a day before (or was it the day? I really don't remember). Anyway, I was told that I was going to have to give a speech to introduce myself to the kids. I asked if I could do it in English. The response: it had to be in Japanese. (Nobody seemed to consider the fact that I couldn't speak a word of Japanese or that there were four English teachers available)....


Was I scared?? Completely petrified!! Sure, I have performed in front of hundreds of people, but, usually when I do so I at least know what I am doing!!!
However after this very, very terrifying event (the kids started to laugh half-way through and I had no clue why. I later found out that I address them using a very very polite word -- like something you would say to the Queen) I have become a little more comfortable with the entire speech process. I now am usually quite good at anticipating when they will be. For example, every year when the new teachers arrive, we have to give a speech introducing ourselves. My first year's speech: "Hello Everyone, I am Emily. I'm from the US. I look forward to working with you this year." My second year's speech: "Hello everyone, I am Emily. I'm from Florida state in the United States of America. I have been in Japan for 8 months. My hobby is playing the harp. I look forward to working with you this year. (I got a hearty applause that time!!!) This year's speech: "Hello everyone, I am Emily. I am the ALT. I'm from Florida State in the United States of America. I have been in Japan for a year and a half. I have taught at this school the entire time. Before coming to Japan, I studied music in graduate school. I play the harp. Now I can't speak Japanese very well, but I am studying the language. The reason why I am in Japan is because when I was a junior high school student, my dream was to be an English teacher in Japan. I look forward to working with you this year." (I didn't have to look at my cheat-sheet once!)Of, course this introductory speech only works sometimes. Like, when I was asked to give a speech to my elementary school kids in both Japanese and English. I had to improvise on the fly (and on the entire school's TV system!) However, in my personal opinion, the best speech I gave was at a teachers' dinner party. When each person entered, they had to draw a card to decide their seat position (seating is really important in Japan, too!). During the "before dinner-speeches" speeches, we were asked to check our cards for special stamp. Those with the stamp had to give the before and after dinner speeches. When the MC (a Japanese language teacher) found out I was one of the "lucky" winners, his facial expression flashed from extreme shock to horror to pure entertainment. First, he put the English teachers in charge of teaching me my speech over dinner. They gave me a very simplistic phrase to learn (something like "That's all folks" or at least I think that was it!) I was doing just fine until the MC decided that he wanted to spice it up a bit.... Unfortunately, during this entire process I had absolutely know clue what I was saying and his suggestions were...well, let's just say a slightly more sober teacher told me not to repeat anything he said! But the idea of an elongated speech stuck. Finally, the dreaded hour came. I stood up, and completely forgot all I was to say. Thankfully, the school principal wasn't in the room, so my speech was postponed. The other teachers had sympathy on me and we had a complete staff practice. However, when the principal returned, I was left on my own. The MC introduced me as the evening's entertainment (an accurate description I'm sure) and up I stood. However, instead of Japanese words (or any kind of words for that matter) falling out of my mouth, I began to laugh hysterically for here I was, the only non-Japanese speaker having to give a speech while all the Japanese teachers looked on encouragingly. Except no matter how "encouraging" they looked, they were leaving it up to me to do it by myself. Of course, I totally blanked again (but thankfully the school's janitor took pity on me and whispered the words). I mumbled, I bumbled, and ultimately bowed to resounding applause. As for the contents of the speech, to this day I still don't know what I said!! (But I now know who not to repeat!)

What a Year can Do!!!

Remember this picture:


Well, I'm proud to say that this year, I could read the Japanese on the schedule indicating when we had picture day. So, for the 2011 graduates' album, the ALT is in a dark suit, not smiling, can proudly say she knows a little Japanese, has pale skin (since she doesn't get kicked off of buses anymore and have to walk 2 miles home in the blazing sun), and was actually in the photo. One thing though that hasn't changed -- she still hates fish!

Cooking Sushi is Harder than it Looks!!

I'm not exactly sure what possessed me to attempt to make sushi last night. Maybe it was the fact that I wanted to try my hand at Japanese cuisine. Or maybe it was because I was feeling creative. Or maybe it was because my last attempt wasn't quite authentic. Actually, I really think that it was because I wanted to have an awesome story to write about on my blog. Well, I have a story!!! But, it didn't quite end like I was expecting!

Whereas most people think that sushi means "raw fish" it in all actuality implies "vinegared rice." Now my first attempt at sushi occurred about four years ago during my teaching internship at Stetson. My kindergartners were studying about Japan, so for a fun, edible craft we made sushi-- at least you could call it that if you are willing to accept that marshmallow cream is synonymous with vinegar!! Unfortunately, I don't have a picture here of the final results, but it did look something like this:
Gummy worms on the inside, Rice Krispie treats on the outside, all wrapped in Fruit Roll-ups, they were adorable as well as delicious (at least that's what my kids said!)

But moving on to yesterday... Before I started, I had visions of grandeur -- beautiful rolls, with a combination of colors, tastes and textures. My readers, would salivate at my creations and beg for samples. It would be beautiful, it would be perfect, and even the pickiest of eaters would be happy!!Unlike the above rolls with raw fish, mine was to have teriyaki chicken. To mix flavors, colors, and textures, I would include cream cheese and even be brave enough to buy an avocado! Instead of using the usual seaweed paper (and the only Japanese food I still cannot eat without gagging) that melts in one's mouth like Listerine breath strips only to provide a not so pleasant fish-bowl breath freshener, I decided I would use black sesame seeds. How exotic, how delicious, how yummy!!!

Phase one of the process found me without the usual rice vinegar and instead only apple cider.
Now ever since my accidental overdose, I'm not so keen of apple cider vinegar. The easy solution?? No vinegar!!! (Bye-bye true sushi!)

Phase two found me without sushi rice. Now, traditional Japanese rice is stickier than "normal" rice; however, sushi rice is even stickier (of course, Rice Krispie Treats are the stickiest of all, but that is a different recipe :-) But, I continued on, only to realize another important point. When making sushi its imperative to use very, very thin slices for the interior, otherwise it doesn't fit (or you can just stack everything on top to make nigirizushi.

However, I was still determined to make the rolled kind (makizushi) so with plenty of plastic wrap, I moved forward in the process!!! Unfortunately, I am not quite sure what went wrong -- was it the rice, the "overstuffed burrito" look, the lack of vinegar... Anyway, it didn't hold its shape too well!! I figured I would try cutting it into pinwheels, but that didn't work either! I had to come to the realization that I wasn't going to pass "beautiful Japanese-food presentation test". So, before everything looked like a miserable failure and complete flop, I took a picture -- not exactly what I was hoping to show my readers, but an accurate documentation nonetheless.

In all actuality, though, it tasted quite good (minus of course the avocados. It could have definitely done without the slimy green things). However, later that evening, I learned another important lesson...

You see, in Japan, one of the most dangerous foods to prepare is fugu (poisonous puffer fish). Now to be an expert fugu cutter, one must study the art of slicing and dicing for 2-3 years. Then both a written test and practical must be passed with the results of the practical being eaten by the preparer. You see, with one tiny mistake, fugu can kill a person (hence making it the only food the Japanese Emperor is forbidden to eat) so to be an expert fugu fillet-er one must be able to survive their own cooking (on an aside, according to Wikipedia only about 35% percent of people actually pass the test). Well all this to say, you have heard about the dangers of sushi?? The fear of eating raw fish?? Well, I would have never believed it, but teriyaki chicken, avocado, cream cheese sushi is dangerous too!!!! I had, to put it pleasantly, a very long date with the sink last night. I just knew it -- avocados are poisonous!!!

Hmm.. Not Quite!

Scene1: In a third-year junior high school classroom

"Welcome back to English Conversation class. This year we have four rules. Please open your passports to page 3. Please listen and write the key words in the box as I read the rules. Rule 1: When a teacher is talking, the students are listening. For example, when I or Mr. Ishida are talking, you are listening. Do you understand? Yes? Okay, good! Mr. Ishida, please choose someone to translate the sentence into Japanese....

Scene 2: While grading papers...

"Wow, these students really understood the activity. They have all done such a good job! Moving on to the next stack of papers... Hmm....not quite!"

One student's paper: "When a teacher is Mr. Ishida, the students are talking."

In Recent News...

So, I am a bit behind in my posts recently and I am sorry. It has just really busy here in the Japanese education world recently. You see, in Japan, there are three school terms: April-July, September-December, January-March. Now, it would seem logical that the new school year would begin in September after the month-long break. However, logic doesn't run the system. Instead, this year the new school year began April 6th while the old one ended March 19th. Needless to say it is a crazy time for everyone because in Japan teachers must change schools every 1-6 years. Half the teachers leave, new teachers come, and nobody has any clue what classes they will be teaching until the last minute. As far as the ALT (yours truly), it was decided that I would also visit three elementary schools in addition to my normal classes at the junior high school. Thus, I am still trying to keep my head above water as I juggle four schools and 21 (versus 13) classes a week!!!! My dear readers, I haven't forgotten about you...I have just been pre-occupied. Changing the subject complete (and actually getting to the point of this post). So, during the crazy switcharoo time, the Hamamatsu ALTs were asked to work at a two-day English camp for the municipal high school. On the second day, a photographer showed up and started snapping pictures... Guess who was in the city newspaper??


Yep, the only blond in attendance!!! (I'm positive I only made it, because all the other ALTs have dark hair and that wouldn't look so foreign now would it?)

Hamamatsu Matsuri

May 2, 3, and 4 are Japan's "Golden Week" holidays. Adding in the weekend and an additional holiday, it makes a great traveling opportunity. May 2nd-4th are also Hamamatsu City's yearly kite festival. Because many of the festivities occur directly outside of my apartment building for 72 hours straight (and the entire city's 800,000 people join) it made sense to escape for a bit (hence the trip to Hong Kong -- see below). However, we returned to Japan late on the 3rd thus allowing us to enjoy the final day of the matsuri.

Here Sarah and I are standing in front of some paper kites wearing traditional festival hoppi coats (provided by the volunteer photographer!)

Trying our hand at flying a kite!

Do you see the tiny speck? It's the kite!

The Hamamatsu kite!

Some lively buglers and drummers! Every township has their own set and they marched and played in front of my window from dawn until dusk!

Enjoying festival food -- here a chocolate covered banana (with strawberry koala cookies). Other yummies included, roasted corn on the cob, buttered potatoes, grilled kabobs, teriyaki chicken wings.... Why are these delicacies served only once a year?!?!

So tradition is that every town has their own kites written with the names of all the babies born in the previous year. For three days the kites battle in the skies...(I never did figure out why!)

Some of the kites coming in for the evening. We got there late so didn't get to witness any of the battles!

At dusk, all the towns pull their carved wooden floats through the streets while revelers play bugles, drums, dance and sing!

Hong Kong the place of...

...Chinese pagodas...

...peek-a-boo peep holes...

...fun doorways...

...bubble tea...

...night markets...

...fancy gardens...

...interesting modern architecture...

...the world's longest outdoor escalator...

...Chinese temples...
...interesting delicacies like 1,000 year-old eggs...

...and shark-fin soup...
(neither of which we ate, but we did try coffee-flavored tea or was it tea-flavored coffee?)

...goldfish markets......fruit markets..

...dragon fruit...

...ribbon markets...
(if you look carefully, you can see ribbons imprinted with "Dillards")

...flower markets...

...bird markets...

...and little old men who take their birds on daily walks...

...fabulous night views...

...unbelievable Western treasures...
(that sadly don't believe in serving ice cream at 9 am)

...and a fun Golden Week vacation!