"I'm a bicycle!" and other brilliant attempts at Japanese

There is a reason that these days portable electronics are brightly colored. If somebody happens to drop one on the bus, they can be easily spotted (not like I have any experience doing that, heeheehee..) Well, I am pleased to report that in my own collection of items, my cellphone is neon green, my Ipod is in a hot pink protective case, and my camera is an a turquoise and pink bag. So, in the case of a spilled purse all items are easily identified. Unfortunately, my most important electronic these days -- my Japanese/English dictionary -- is not a member of the "ABBC" (A.K.A. the "All thing Bright and Beautiful Club") Due to its lack of eye-catching appeal, it can easily slip under a bus seat unnoticed (Not like that has ever happened either!) For the sake of the argument, let's just say it did happen... Well, for starters, I would not tell my school, my neighbors, or my LOLs that I lost yet another thing.... They would deport me for sure (and currently I don't have a passport)! So, it would make more sense to file a missing items report myself. Knowing that Japanese people usually are honest and assuming that I correctly filled out the report, let's just say that I received a phone call from the Bus Station's Lost and Found (LF) Department saying that the missing item had been located. Let's now eavesdrop on the "pretend" all-Japanese conversation

LF: Hello, thisis completelyindistinguisablespeedspeakingperson
Emily: Hello, this is Emily Toelcke
LF: Hello? Hello?
Emily: Emily Toelcke
LF: somethingsomething did you lose blahblah
Emily: Dictionary. Yesterday.
LF: Do you understand Japanese?
Emily: A little...
LF: Just a moment...
Emily: Okay
LF: Emily-san?
Emily: Yes.
LF: somethingelsecompletelyindescernablethatwaswaytoofast
Emily: Yes
LF: blahblahblahblahblah close in ten minutes. 7 o'clock. Okay?
Emily: Yes, yes.
LF: Tomorrow somethingwillhappenmaybeitsbettertocometomorrowbutfranklyIhavenoidea
Emily: Today. Now. Come. Dictionary.
LF: lkadfsijfslaskdjfoiwerjlaksdjfoijewlrkajdfoidsuajlskdjroaweiruadbflkdsjfaosifhs
Emily: Thank you.
LF: lkjasdofielakjwfoidsajlkejraosidfuskajrf;lewiaskjdfh

Knowing I only have ten minutes to obtain my communicator, I high-tail down three flights of stairs, weave through hoards of businessmen leaving work, and race (as fast as one can run in heels) toward the bus terminal. With three minutes to spare I fling open the door and announce "I'm a bicycle!!!" What I of course mean to say is I lost my dictionary, but alas, that too is failed to be expressed. However, the Lost and Found men are quite bright. Not long before a dictionary had been returned. Here in front of them stands a blonde, proclaiming herself to be a man-powered two-wheel person mover. Could they in some way be connected? Nah...that would be too obvious!!!

Just When I Thought School Lunch Couldn't Get Any (you fill-in-the-blank)...

...I found this on my plate. Squid it may be, but calamari it isn't!

(It was about the size of my hand!)

Lessons from a Leaf

I bought a bamboo plant yesterday. I don't know why I once again felt it was necessary to subject a plant to "The Terror of ET". Anyone who knows me well knows that I can kill a plant just by looking at it. In fact, when I was at Stetson, my roommate Allison had somebody else come in to our room to water her lovely leaves while she was gone. I didn't take it personally -- I hate having the proverbial "blood on my hands" (or should I say sap?) But, I am going off track now... Back to the current bamboo. So, after I repotted this cute little dude I realized that there was another reason why I had avoided purchasing green living things. The only sunlight that enters my apartment comes from the sliding glass doors behind my bed. So, if I want to give him one of the essentials of life, he is going to have to sit on my pillow!

Why do I tell you all this? Well, as I have been pondering how to best take care of my bamboo buddy, I was reminded of my violet in graduate school. With this specific plant, I was determined not to kill it. So, in my usual "Let's take all matters in my own hands" way, I decided that it would be best to keep it on my kitchen counter. That way, I could keep it under my watchful eye (and maybe actually remember to water it). I figured that if I kept the lights on over the counter, I could provide it with enough light to keep it living. (For those of you who think I am absolutely insane, yes, this really was my logic! Do you understand now why I kill everything green and growing?) Well, the outcome of the violet wasn't surprising. Within a couple of weeks it started to look puny. I was determined to give it life, so I fed it some special food and kept the lights on... Sooner or later, I realized that the violet needed something that I couldn't give it. So, I finally humbled myself enough to put it in my front window and promptly forgot all about it....

Why do I tell you all of this? Well, months later when I happend to open the front shade (I always kept it closed because of safety reasons) I saw one of the most miraculous things. My violet was not only green and happy, it was completely covered in beautiful flowers. Immediately, I wanted to take credit for its beauty, but then was quietly reminded of a very important fact. When we take matters into our own hands we will suffer and struggle. However, when we turn those matters over to God by placing our full confidence in Him, he will provide. We must be willing to let go. He is the giver and sustainer of life. He will turn our handicaps into beauty -- all in his perfect timing. His time!!!! Not ours... We must be patient. Patient!!!!

Just like I deal with plants poorly, I also struggle with patience. Many of you know that I have recently been struggling with what I should do next year. Do I stay in Japan? Do I go home? What is God's will for my life? Well, I am excited to tell you that today I came to an important conclusion. Last week my parent's pastor gave a wonderful sermon on Romans 8:26-27. My mother highly encouraged me streamline it, which I finally was able to do today (and I encourage you to do so to at http://stpaulpca.sitewrench.com/default.aspx?p=40271&maid=904) . It made me laugh, it made me cry!!! I fit his description to a "T" (even if I already am a "T"). It was such an encouragement to be reminded that sometimes, we just don't know, but that is okay. God knows!! We are not alone. He will never leave us or forsake us. Even when He feels silent, He is with us. If we truly seek His will, He will reveal it to us. In fact, as my mother likes to add "We are in it!" As far as my decision, well let's just say we shall all wait and see... It is time to wait for God's time. Meanwhile, I would appreciate your prayers as I prayerfully seek His will and not mine. Oh, and I am sure my bamboo buddy would appreciate your prayers for his life, too. Our Heavenly Father is always faithful in taking caring of his own. I, on the other hand, often forget :-)

With the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day. The Lord is not slow in keeping His promise. II Peter 3:8-9

A Whale of a Tale

This past week was "School Lunch Week." I experienced the entire week and am still not exactly sure what the point was. However, there were several obvious additions during the week. For example each day from Monday through Thursday we got a special "dessert" (fruit, yogurt, pudding etc.) which is a usually a rare occurrence. Also, Friday was "eel" day! But it was Thursday that was the most special of days. On this day, we actually got to choose our main dish! This choice was made sometime mid-November (see the "In the Past 24 Hours..." post). Our options? Either a hot dog or whale. Now the obvious choice for this non-fish-loving individual would be a hot dog. Hot dogs are safe. Hot dogs are American. Hot dogs are, well, normal! But then again, life in Japan is not normal. For example, when would I ever, ever have a chance to eat whale? And the mere idea of it -- one more strange food to add to my eating resume. How bad could it be? I mean, I eat lunch everyday in the staff room. Therefore, if I don't like lunch, then I can always throw it away or pass it on to another teacher. The staff room is the safe place to be during mealtimes. It's where teacher's split and share their oranges to compare their sweetness. It's where the school's "jack-of-all-trades" serves me smaller portions and cuts off the heads of fish for me so I don't have to see my food stare back. It is where I can trade my fermented beans for strawberries. If I was going to eat whale, I wanted to eat it in the staffroom! Not to mention, there's a microwave there so if lunch was particularly awful, I could always heat up a bowl of instant oatmeal! All this to say, way back when in November, I blindly ordered whale. What I didn't know at the time was during "School Lunch Week" its a tradition to invite various teachers to join the kids in their classroom for lunch. So, about a week ago, I received a handwritten note from one of the first-year classes to join them for lunch -- on Thursday!!! Now the rules of eating in the classroom are quite different than those used for eating in the staffroom. For example, you must eat everything on your plate, because you must be a good example to the students. There is no complaining, no gagging, and no throwing up! (Okay, okay, I admit, I made up the last two rules!) There was also no backing down. I had ordered whale and now I was going to have to eat it like it or not.... Thursday arrived with me feeling absolutely awful. I was catching a cold and even morning coffee sounded disgusting not to mention afternoon orca. As the day proceeded and all kinds of unusual smells wafted from the kitchen I dreaded lunch... The day dragged on, the minutes ticked by, and then the chime rang 12:20. Lunch was served. My first-year student escort arrived eager to take me to his classroom. There I was greeted by the students already in the process of serving lunch. I was surprised -- though I'm not sure exactly why since this is Japan after all --most students had opted for whale, too.

Since I lived to write this tale, I obviously did not have too horrible of an experience with the whale. In fact, in all honesty, it really didn't taste that bad. Oh, by all means, it wasn't good, but it really didn't have much of a flavor. In fact, if somebody had told me it was a slightly dried out chicken, I would have probably believed them. But, my experience did teach me something really, really important....

... do you know the term "mystery meat"??? Well, it has a whole new meaning!!! Bon Appetite! :-)

Operation Keki Part 2

It's been over a year since I posted my rice cooker cake, now it's time to unveil the microwave version. I don't have a cool video to go with this post, but I do have a recipe!!!! Thanks to Nikki P. I am now only five minutes away from chocolate cake at anytime of night or day and you can be too! Welcome to the "World's Most Dangerous Cake!" Can you just imagine the possibilities? Mix everything up in a Tupperware, take it to work and "wallah," you have a great addition to your coffee break. Don P. suggested that it would be even more awesome with ice cream. I wholeheartedly agree even if he is a Gator fan :-) Also, if you stick a small dark chocolate bar in the middle before cooking then you can have a delicious gooey center. Enjoy!
¼ cup flour
¼ cup sugar
2 T cocoa
1 egg
3 T milk
3 T oil
Splash of vanilla

Put all dry ingredients into large coffee mug and mix well; Add other ingredients and mix well.
Put in microwave and bake for 3 minutes on high.Cake will rise up over top of mug but will settle when you take it out. Allow to cool slightly and tip out of mug or just eat from mug.

I Love English in Japan (Car Sticker)

So Erin, I was going to buy this and send it to you but then realized that Bitty Boo will probably arrive before my letter does!

Home Sweet Hallway

I finally managed to find a day where I had both a clean apartment and a lack of wet laundry drapes (most likely a once-in-a-lifetime experience!!) So, it seemed like a perfect time to show you around... However, I must provide a disclaimer -- neither I nor my camerawoman (Sarah) are professionals ;-)

Christmas!

So, I had way too much fun at home during the holidays to think about taking pictures. However, I managed to collect a few from fellow photographers. Here are several of my favorites.

Aren't we cute!!! All five of us!!!

(Yes, there are five. I'm sure Bitty Boo is smiling in Erin's tummy :-)

I'm not sure who had more fun with Clara's Christmas present...

Don't you just love Clara's look of sheer delight??

It was so wonderful having the opportunity to play with her all day every day (even if she did wake me up every morning at 7:15 with "Emmy sleeping? Emmy gonna get you?"!!)

After Christmas I had the wonderful opportunity to fly to Durham, NC to see my dear friend Allie and my newest niece Madeline Ellyse. Don't you just love her middle name?

成人式 Coming of Age Day

Tomorrow Seijin no Hi or "Coming of Age Day" in Japan. It is a celebration for all the youth who had turned twenty in the previous year. They return to their hometown and celebrate with their junior high school peers. In all actuality, the occasion is like a large class reunion since the young adults' former 6th grade elementary school teachers and 3rd grade junior high school teachers are also invited to attend. My vice principal's younger daughter's ceremony was today and so she invited me to come along. Other than the twenty-year-olds, there were only a few mothers and a group of public officials in attendance. Needless to say, I stuck-out. Come to find out, the ceremony really isn't open to lots of people and my vice principal had to get special permission for me to attend. Below are some pictures I snapped. The girls' kimono, known as furisode, are the most formal style since they have long sleeves. They are made from silk, have multiple layers and require a professional dresser to put them on. A nice rental one can cost anywhere from $1000 up so one can only imagine what a new one would cost! Most of the boys wore suits and ties though a few wore hakama the traditional Japanese male dress wear.

The guy in the middle of the picture is wearing a hakama. Like a kimono on top, it has billowy pants on the bottom
The people wearing "western-styled" wear are some of the students former teachers

A close up of some of the gorgeous kimonos and fancy hairstyles

My vice principal and her daughter.

They both have really nice smiles, I guess just not for cameras!

Yep, I'm Back in Japan

So, my plan tonight was to post my Christmas holiday pictures... However, in one of my more brilliant moves, I accidentally left all of my photos at school (which, all things considered, isn't half as bad as calling my Japanese teacher a vegetable to his wife's face). Anywho, you are just going to have to wait for more posts (but since you now have so much free time, maybe you can help me Google polite Japanese expressions of apology :-) Until then, enjoy the below "only in Japan" photo I snapped with my cellphone.

Little bottle of water = 110 yen

Big bottle of water = 110 yen

*Well, you could say it's two for the price of one!*

The Day I became an International Emergency

Anyone who has known me long enough is very aware that I have an extremely hard time of holding on to my property. I have had the "Oh No, I Lost My Glasses" Episode, followed by "Tales of the Missing Camera," "Let's all Search in the Parking Lot for Harp Car" Parts 1, 2, and 3, and "If You Were My IPod, Where Would You Be?" just to name a few of the classics. Well, last week was the first installment of my newest epic "Phone Fun!" It all began a week ago Thursday on an innocent Christmas shopping trip. The last thing I remember was writing a text message while riding the bus and then placing my phone in my purse. Several hours later -- it was gone!!! (the phone, that it is -- though, knowing my track record, I wouldn't be too surprised if I lost a bus or two!) Obviously, the first thing I did was search all my bags and pockets, then I dragged Sarah to the bus station's "Lost and Found" which happened to be closed. Friday not only was a hectic day, but the weather was awful (cold, wet, rainy, windy) and by the end, the last thing I wanted to do was to go splashing through puddles on a quest for the aforementioned missing item. Feeling very depressed, I decided to call (on Sarah's phone) the forces: My LOLs! Saturday found us calling the police, the bus terminal, and taking a wild ride down the streets of Hamamatsu as I attempted to navigate back to every store I had originally visited. At one store, a young man (who was obviously very knowledgeable in all things cellphone) insisted that we shut off the phone. Come to find out, Japanese cellphones have a special bill-paying feature directly connected to one's bank account. So, if someone has the cellphone, they can also get access to one's finances. This information found us scrambling to the closest cellphone store to cut off all power. Come to find out, the feature wasn't on my cellphone, but it scared us enough to put a remote lock on the phone thus blocking all users. That was a week ago.....





Yesterday, when I returned to my school's staff room after teaching, one of the teacher's practically jumped out of his chair to tell me that I had received an "emergency" call from an "Otsuki-san" (one of my LOLs). Someone had returned a cellphone to the police department and it matched my phone's description. However, since it was locked, nobody could check the number to make sure it was my phone. So they wanted to know if I could identify the attached strap. After correctly describing the three monkeys sitting on a bunch of bananas (don't even ask why I have that strap on my phone -- it's a completely different crazy story!) I was informed that, yes, indeed, the phone was mine. However, since the police station is closed on Saturdays and Sundays (I guess one can't commit crimes on the weekends here in Japan) I had to arrive by five! Unfortunately, due to a various events out of either my or my LOLs' control, it was going to be an impossible feat. Therefore, claiming that it was an "International Emergency" my LOLs insisted that the police department remain open till 6 so that I could claim my phone before I leave on Monday for Florida. They must have been very convincing because at the specified time, I was escorted into the police department, with numerous police staring in awe of a blonde walking through their corridors. With much tradition and lots of bowing, my cellphone was returned and soon we were able to easily remove the remote lock. As far as I can tell, nobody used my phone to make any calls during the past week and my bank account is still intact. All in all, it was just one more crazy adventure in the life of the tentmaker (who now just happens to be on the Japanese police's black list!)

Dreams do come true...

Today's School Lunch Menu:

• Broccoli (oh how I love green florets!)
• Potato Sausage soup (no quail eggs, no slimy gray stuff, no seaweed)
• Bunny-shaped apple bread (so cute and so yummy!)
• Chicken leg (Can you believe it!!! A leg for once?????)
• Banana-chocolate crepe (need I say more?)

I'm not sure what exactly possessed the lunch-ladies to serve us a scrumptious menu like this, but I was totally ecstatic (and hope that whatever did, will charm them again). In fact, I wondered for a second if I was actually in Japan (the included hot green tea brought me back into reality!) My kids' opinion, on the other hand.... well, let's just say they said they preferred the day we got unagi (eel) for lunch!

A free unagi (eel) pie to whoever can figure this out!

What is hurenti torst?

Hint: It is one of my student's favorite food.

You know that you are no longer in an individualistic society when...

• the annual medical check is scheduled for you and your peers to attend simultaneously.
• instructions for specimen collection is given to everybody in a group meeting
• you are ushered into a female-only locker room and instructed to change into the medical "pjs" (size LL, I might add) with everyone else
• you are ushered in turn from blood pressure to weight to blood drawing to chest x-ray stations
• you can watch your friends pass out when blood is being drawn
• you wait your turn in the hallway with your pj-decked peers (male and female alike)
• you carry and compare your medical forms from station to station (I'm taller than the boys!!)
• the medical techs. politely refer to you by number (i.e. eighteen-san=Ms. Eighteen) instead of name
• the nurses don't inform you before they lift your shirt and measure your girth (thankfully not in front of your peers!)
• your paperwork states that your medical records WILL be sent to your place of employment

Language Acquisition (AKA: So where are you from?)

Here in Hamamatsu there are 30-some ALTs. What may be surprising to you, is that most are not from the United States. Instead there is quite a random mix of English-speakers. When we all first came here, we enjoyed guessing where each other were from and imitating one-another's accents. I, for one, insisted that I didn't have an accent, but everyone assured me that my "American" accent was really strong. Okay, maybe I am blonde or something, but I had never heard of an "American" accent. Sure I was familiar with the "New York" or the "Southern" or the "Midwestern" accent, but an "American" accent? Realizing that I was outnumbered by Australians, Kiwis, British, and Canadians, I finally resorted to assuming that the American accent must be the one that doesn't sound like anyone else. However, as I have been here longer I have started to pick out the various English accents quite well. Any new person that I meet, I can usually successfully determine what country they are from because of which of my "foreign" friends they sound like. I have also realized that the person on the CD that accompanies my kids' textbooks is American. Words can't describe our accent, but it is becoming quite obvious to me, and, as I recently found out, my students, too. Last week, I showed them video clips I made of 9 different ALTs and asked them to decide which English was the easiest to understand. Hands-down, the one from the US was their top choice, followed by Australia. I guess, they too are slowly starting to decipher the difference between accents. However, on the absolute craziest note, twice this past week I have met some new Americans and both times they have asked me where I am from. Then they stare disbelieving when I say the States. Come to find out, I guess I'm not sounding so American these days! Because most of my contact is with Sarah-kiwi and Scottish-Helen, my speech is changing. Oh, and I have also realized that I am rapidly forgetting English and starting to think in Japlish. So, if you think I talk funny, it's probably true!

Christmas Card Photo-Shoot

What happened next...
Now you will just have to wait to see the what happened first!

****Two weeks and I'm going to be home****

It's Beginning to Look a lot like Christmas...

I Love English in Japan (Grocery Store Edition)

At first glance, this might not look like Engrish... ...but what you don't see is the milk, yogurt, cheese, and tofu underneath the sign. (Ah, those pesky l/r mix-ups. It gets them every time!!!)

Karuizawa

Ten years ago, when my dad and I first visited Japan we both stayed with host families. Daddy's host family "Joy" and "Peter" now live in Karuizawa in Nagano prefecture (about 6 hours north by car from Hamamatsu). Karuizawa is a winter ski-haven, summer resort, and home to one of Japan's most well-known missionary language schools. Several weeks ago, I had a chance to visit the area. Here are some of my snapshots. Enjoy!

"Joy" and "Peter" in front of their home

During my trip, "Joy" invited me to join her caroling group (FYI, I'm the tallest, blondest, and only one not wearing the required uniform!)

It was too cold for fall leaves, but too warm for skiing. However, with a bit of strategic snapping, I was able to get a few "fall-looking" photos.

Peter and I in front of a famous waterfall. I have no clue why it's famous!

"Joy" and I eating the world's best ice cream (and I have eaten A LOT of ice cream in my life) in thirty-degree weather! It was delicious and COLD!!!!!!

A local snow-making company's "Illumination" display

I just like this photo!

More strategic photo-snapping

Lunch!

In front of "Crow Castle" -- a four hundred-year-old wooden castle

Thanksgiving

So it looks innocent enough, but it's the stories behind the meal that make it unique.....
Last year my "big" Thanksgiving feast was proceeded by the following direct quote from one of my former elementary school colleagues. "Emily, go to gym. Big fish, cut, cut, cut!" I went to the gym and sure enough there was the largest tuna I have ever seen being sliced, diced, and served raw to the school's staff and students. Needless to say it was a one-in-a-kind "feast" that I didn't ever want to repeat. This year, though, Mommy and Grandma surprised me with a box of Thanksgiving goodies including turkey gravy and cranberry sauce. Well, everyone, I am happy to report that Sarah and I cooked our first Thanksgiving meal. So what if we simmered chicken instead of turkey in the gravy, accidentally hit the "microwave" versus the "oven" button when baking the apple cinnamon muffins, totally forgot about cooking the broccoli, found all the ingredients for a pumpkin pie except pumpkin, and accidentally used "essence of banana" milk in the mashed potatoes. It tasted good!!! (Okay, maybe the potatoes weren't so great, but Sarah maintains that the fruit-flavored spuds were to keep the cranberry sauce from feeling lonely :-)

We were grateful for our food and for the rich blessings of this past year including the new-found ability to read bus maps!