Three years ago this week, I acted on one of the
most dramatic decisions I have ever made. With only two Japanese
words in my vocabulary (“thank you” and “good morning”) and
lots of pink clothes in my suitcase, I stepped on to a plane headed to an
unknown city, to meet unknown people, and to fulfill an unknown
mission. Many people told me I was brave. I didn’t feel brave –
in fact I was so scared that I occasionally took Xanax the week
leading to my departure. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t sleep.
But, I also couldn’t not go. As scared as I was, I knew
that God was calling me to Japan. I had no idea why, but I knew not
to follow that calling would be a grave mistake. I also knew that no
matter how alone I felt, I never would be truly alone because if God
was sending me on an assignment, He would always be there to help me.
What happened the next few days, weeks,
and months are kind of a blur, but several situations really stand
out. For example, the day after I arrived, I met Sarah. We were
“randomly” assigned to the same table for lunch. During the
course, of the meal, she just “happened” to mention that she was
a Christian and was looking forward to finding a church once we
arrived in Hamamatsu City. I vividly recall thinking “”Wow, so
I’m not the only Christian in this country!” Several days later,
we were wandering the streets of the city looking for an elusive
church building, when we asked friendly-looking lady where it was.
She just “happened” to be a member of a church filled with lots
of charming little-old-ladies (LOLs!) God was at work behind the
scenes and I was excited to be a part of it!!
Before I left, a dear friend who has
had much experience living overseas told me that moving to a new
country was like being a tiny puppy in the ocean. No matter how hard
you tried to doggy-paddle the waves of newness would keep on crashing
down. Every time you tried to get your footing, a new one would
knock you over. However, eventually, you would start to anticipate
them and brace yourself whereupon you might actually start to enjoy
the ride! Her words could not have been any wiser. It was just like
that… Life was downright frustrating at times! Everything was so
new and I felt like I stuck out like a sore thumb. Actually, I knew
I stuck out. My new students literally ran away in fear every
time they saw me. The traffic inevitably slowed down when I was
walking. Everyone seemed to know who I was, but I had no idea who
they were – or how to function in their society. I was one tall,
brightly dressed, blonde bumbling through their society. The lowest
day came when after a horrible encounter with a cockroach falling on
me from my food cabinet I sat on the couch and sobbed. I just wanted
to go home to the safety of the familiar! After crying for an hour
or so, I realized that nothing was going to improve if I remained in
my present state so I decided to do the next best thing. I went
looking for a doughnut!
After a fifteen minute or so walk, I finally
found a Circle-K. There I purchased eggs (cheese and bacon where
beyond my Japanese shopping skills), milk, orange juice, and
something that looked like five delicious peach jam-filled doughnut
holes. I was going to make a breakfast-dinner that would make any
Toelcke proud. Who cared if the eggs tasted slightly like fish, I
still had my doughnut! That was until I bit inside of it. What I
thought was to be a sweet bread filled with jam, actually was a bean
bun filled with the likes of peach-flavored refried beans.
Right then and there, I lost it. Had I known how to get to the
airport, I would have packed my bags and headed home. But there was
something to be said about not knowing how to use Japanese buses. My
lack of knowledge meant that I couldn’t make any rash decisions.
So there I was in the middle of nowhere crying until I started
laughing . “This will make a funny story someday,” I thought to
myself. That someday has become today – three years later – when
I can realize how far I have come and how faithful God has been.
Of course, life didn’t become easy
overnight. In fact, I can’t say that anything truly meaningful in
life is ever easy. I still had (and have) challenges here in Japan.
But, I have also slowly learned to anticipate the waves and even ride
them sometimes!
